Dealing With Disappointment

High School is a time to try new things. It’s a time to be adventurous, go out of your comfort zone, and find other activities you really enjoy. However, we all have that sport or activity that we can all pride ourselves in being good at. Back in middle school you were on the top team, you were the star track runner, the best piano player, the best dancer, or even the lead in every musical. But somehow at this new school you find yourself at the back of the line, singing the chorus instead of the solo, on JV instead of Varsity. Being given this new position at your school and dealing with disappointment can be hard, but it can also push you and help you grow.

Coming to a new school can be stressful and disappointment is bound to happen at some point, whether it’s socially, in your extra curricular activity, or academically.

1. Social Disappointment

Social disappointment is common, especially among girls. When it comes to guys and dating remember that no one is forcing you to grow up or mature faster then you’re ready to. Sometimes it’s hard being the girl in the group who doesn’t have a boyfriend, and feels like she’s the “unexperienced one” in the bunch. But this isn’t something to be disappointed about. It’s fine to wait, everyone goes at their own rate. And besides, you shouldn’t have to settle for just anyone. One thing that’s common in these situations is that girls can get frustrated and start “liking” a lot of guys, which can lead to the disappointment of rejection. Dealing with rejection is difficult, and not just when it comes to guys. It can make people feel self conscious and sometimes inferior to others. Through rejection you sometimes loose sight of how amazing you really are. It’s times like these when you need a really good group of friends or family members to help you see that again. However, your friends can wipe your tears and your family can hug you, but at the end of the day the only person that can help you get over it is yourself. You have to be aware of how amazing and unique you are, and know your worth. Everyone has something to offer, and although it might not be noticed or compatible with others, it doesn’t mean that it is any less special.

2. Extra Curricular Disappointment

Coming to a new school and realizing you’re no longer the best in the activity you’ve been doing since middle school can be a tough adjustment. You’re coming to a new place and there are bound to be people better, on the same skill level, and a beginner compared to you. Even though that is known fact, it still hurts when you’re no longer the soloist but the person in the chorus, when you’re no longer the star athlete but the JV starter… Change can be good; but it can also be difficult and frustrating to adjust to. Although in the beginning disappointment might prevent you are cause you to stop doing this activity altogether, you must push through. I mean honestly, think about it… are you doing this activity because you love doing it, or because you’re good at it? Once you’re able to answer this question, you can truly start to deal with your disappointment. If you honestly love doing this activity, then don’t stop; if it makes you feel good and you enjoy it, than that’s all that should matter. If you’re only doing it because you’re good at it, then push through; maybe it’s time to challenge yourself. Maybe at your old school you already knew you were at the top, so now you need a little bit of a push to be the best you actually can be. Either way, both cases are a time to challenge yourself and grow in that extra curricular activity. By surrounding yourself with people better or just as good as you, it raises the bar and causes you to go above and beyond to stand out and push yourself to your full potential.

3. Academic Disappointment

And last but not least… Academic Disappointment. This is the hardest form of disappointments, because it causes individuals to question there intelligence. Thinking that you’re actually just dumb, stupid, or “not as smart” as everyone else is a heavy load to carry. Academic Disappointment is harder to deal with because it requires a lot of discipline to fix. If your heart drops every time you get that test grade back, then you’re doing something wrong. You can’t just promise yourself to “do better next time,” you actually have to take action. In order for your grades to change, your ways have to change. By changing your ways you can easily cause disappointment in other areas of life, but isn’t your education worth it? If you don’t think it is now, just think about how you’ll fell when you get that test back and see an A+ on it. Remember, teachers are there for help. Just like family, friends, and most importantly your parents, they want to see you succeed. Most of the time it’s easier to go to your teachers for help then your parents, because not only do they know the material, they also offer a great amount of support, and most importantly they can’t yell at you when they’re frustrated. The great thing about a boarding school, is that your teachers are available 24/7. And trust me, if you’re one of those kids that finds it intimidating, weird, or embarrassing to go see your teachers for extra help… trust me, I’ve been there. Coming from a regular high school to a boarding school, in order to get extra help you had to higher a tutor on the weekend! Due to this it became imprinted on my brain that getting help was some sort of “handicap” that I definitely didn’t need. It wasn’t until this year that I realized that my grades are more important then my pride. On top of that what most kids don’t realize, is that you’re not the ONLY one getting extra help. Often times you’re late to the party, and half your class has already set up a weekly meeting with your teacher. The only way to get over Academic Disappointment is by seeking help or changing your study habits. Without discipline or a firm decision, you will never overcome this form of disappointment.

Disappointment is hard to deal with because it causes you to question yourself; and often times it can even make you hate yourself. It’s throws you into a spiral that’s hard to get out of. The best way to deal with it is to express your feelings and figure out how you personally can overcome it. The world can always compliment you and try to make you feel better, but unless you believe it nothing will change. The real change always has to start from within.

Yours Truly,


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